this is da end of an episode for me.
no more online journals.
no more online stuffs.
deres no use for me to keep one anymore.
reason?
wont post it up here.
i will probably offend her by putting up mah reason.
so.
if ya still wanna noe mah lyf story.
get ur own means..
i dunnoe larh..
no more bloggo..
think i will just keep everything inside me..
i will probably be much more mundane..
more morbid..
sigh.
ive had enuff.
Posted at 03:00 am by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
ya..
sukati ah.
u wanted me to ba man.
im growing up.
and im expecting u to listen to me.
dats what a guy shud do.
now..im making that necessary step..
u tak bleh accept..
den wats da point of u telling me to be a man..
if u still wont listen to me..
and that is like onlie the first thing on the agenda..
seriusly.
i dun understand it.
i dun have to repeat it rite.
i cant and dun understand it!
seriusly i dun!
im trying to grow up right here..
and u simply cant accept it..
when im still in my childish ways..
u hate it.
wat izzit u want!?
im like pressurized by ur dad.
i have to make sure u do well..
and if u dun.
its da end of us..
and..u buat perangai macam gini..
i da takle tahan..
im breaking down ryte now..
aku nak mati lah..
tolong ah..sesaper..
aku da pat hujung kepala..
da meletop..
theres just blood everywher.
fark.
Posted at 03:08 am by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
| Your Girlfriend |
| Name: |
siTi aIsyaH.! |
| Age: |
17 |
| Hair: |
baNaNa suMthinG.huRhuR.! |
| Eyes: |
bRowNisHh.. |
| Background/Nationality: |
siNgapoReAN laRhh.. |
| faCtss..laRh.. |
| How did you meet?: |
eRmm..hoW eK..i waS siTting aT taMp sMaLL maC..dEN eMY asK mE To coMe ovEr tO heR..aHaKz.. |
| What were your first words?: |
eRM..heLLo.? |
| Were you with anyone at the time of meeting?: |
yeSh..yaSiN..aHaKz.. |
| Was she?: |
yeaH..eMyLiNa anD faThiyAh |
| Did you start going out shortly after meeting or after awhile?: |
sTrAighT aFtER mEeTinG.!! aHaKz.. |
| Who asked out who?: |
oBviouSly mE~! duH~! |
| What happened in your next conversation?: |
eRm..waS fuN..dERe waS nO aWkwaRd moMenTs duRing ouR sEconD "daTe" |
| How did you start letting her know you were interested?: |
eRM..sMs..fLirT2.? aHaKz..muaHz.! |
| What did you think when you first saw her?: |
oOouHh..sHe LooKs gOod..eHeKz.. |
| When was your first kiss?: |
eRm...i kiSs heR oR boTh oF uS kiSseD..? |
| Second?: |
seConD.?? |
| Last?: |
laSt..? dA daY i diE..iS dA wE laSt kiSsEd.. |
| How long have you been together?: |
8 wuNdERfuL moNtHss.!! |
| Are you tired of her?: |
baH~! iF iM tiRed..i woNt bE wiTH heR okaY..?! |
| Is she tired of you?: |
eRM..oBviouSly NOo..!!! |
| Do you love her?: |
meStiLah!! |
| Does she love you?: |
yaHhHHh.!!!~~!!! |
| When/how did you tell her you love/like/whatever her?: |
aHaKz..eRm..2410?? |
| Have you ever cheated?: |
heY! iVe cHaNGeD oKAY?!?! gEt tHe faCts rIGht.!! |
| Why? If so what was her reaction?: |
taK peRnaH p0Nn.. |
| Has she ever cheated?: |
eRm..nOlaRh..sHeS loyaL.. ;) |
| Why? If so, what was your reaction?: |
taK kAN!!!! |
| Have you ever had a 'break'?: |
yeaHh.. |
| Why?: |
suM sTuFf laRh..reaD maH bLoG loRr.. |
| Does her family like you?: |
eRm..n0P..? |
| Does your family like her?: |
lyK duH~! loVe heR aHh~~~!!!!! |
| Have you made her cry?: |
yaH..maNEr nyeR laKi taK peRnaH buaT poMpuaN naNgiS.?! |
| Why?: |
aHaKz..taKKan naK cKp sumEr kaNn.. |
| Has she seen you cry?: |
yaH |
| Why?: |
eNtaHZ.. |
| Do you ever talk about the future?: |
yeaY!! |
| Is there anything she does that is just her, and it makes you smile?: |
yerPs..wHeN sHe sMiLes cHeEKiLy..huRhuR.. |
| Are you bored?: |
noP.. |
| Why are you doing this survey?: |
tO sHoW Da weRLd tHAt i LoVE maH daRLinGg.! |
| Is she a good kisser?: |
caN saY laRhh.. |
| Do you think you're a good kisser?: |
nO duH~! |
| How far have you gone with her?: |
waKaKaKa.. |
| Why?: |
yaDaYaDa |
| What does she smell like?: |
eLseVe's sHaMpOo! |
| I'm tired.: |
uR pRobLem LarHh.! |
Doozy's really long girlfriend survey brought to you by BZOINK!
Posted at 12:06 am by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
i hope u dun take da entry da wrong way..
pls understand kies..
Posted at 06:23 pm by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
heylo..
sya's mad at me..
i dunnoe why actually..
told her ahm going to watch a movie with mah family..
even tho i watched it aedy..
i cant miss it rite?
its a family outing..
so..
right after i told her..
she like quickly2 wanna put the fone down..
say..she wanna do werk la..
i cant do anything at all..
haiz..
den she msged..
she wont be switching on her fone fer da whole day..
and..she doesnt expect to see me online fer today and tomorrow.
and doesnt want to see me when shes at sentosa..
coz ahm going also..
ahm going to pahlawan beach..
she say..
hope she go to any beaches except pahlawan..
aper sey cam gini?
i seriously dunnoe wat i do..
its not like i dowant to talk to you or wat..
i nga bobal ngan u ape..
i wasnt going to put down..knowing u were in pain..
i was going to talk till ayah and ibu came back..
takkan just becoz i say i nak gi tengok wayang ngan mama all pon u nak marah seyy?
asal u cam gini sayang?
u want us to have some space this holidays..
and..we're meeting onlie twice a week..
lagi2..dis week once ajer..
and..today..public holiday..
mama nak nengok day after tomorrow..
of coz everyone have to follow kan sayang..
jgn marah lah.
pls understand..
im with my family sey..
sigh..
if its one of ur mood swings again..
i dunnoe wat to say..
penat sey i u buat cam gini..
nanti kalau i tak bilang i nak kuar..
u get angry jugakz..
abeh now..i bilang..
u marah jugakz..
and..furthermore im with my family sey sayang...
jgn marah lah..
i pon ader perasaan jugak.
u boleh marah..sumer org pon marah..
abeh kalau u keep getting angry at me..
over me going out with my fam.
or wanting to sleep a lil early..
where do i put my feelings den..?
obviously i cant ignore u if ur angry..
i kena pujuk u..
coz i love you..
but..it seems like..
all the time ur angry at me..
penat tau sayang..
its like...
im feeling trapped..
i cant be angry at you..
coz..i dowant u to be angry me fer being angry at you..
if im not happie with sumthing..
i just aveta keep quiet..
coz i DONT dare to speak up..
its not the i don want to..
i DONT dare..
i cant afford u getting angry at me anymore..
pikiran sey..
ur in pain..
and aveta do werk..
i msg..u tak reply..
kalau takle reply..call pon tidak..
i called..u reject..
pls dun say i dun care..
im doin all i can to make u happie..
but..its seems like..ur being angry more than ur happy..over small things..
but..everyone has their limits sayang..
remember that kies..
dun push sumone up the wall..
-aYuL-
Posted at 04:32 pm by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
sigh.
fer that sumone..
this entry is for you.
i miss you.
i miss the times we went out together.
those photo cards..
four of us..
at bugis..
i miss those times.
20/09/02.
i got a pleasant surprise..
when u told me.
ur getting sum stuff at raffles place.
but..it turned out..
that..we actually walked from clarke quay..
all the way to raffles place..
just to get me a birthday cake.
it was a birthday, i will never forget..
20/09/03.
wenta make mah ic.
wenta lau pa sat.
wenta ate satay and two pathetic chicken wings.
wenta walked around CBD.
wenta slacked at BK.
wenta take pics in da train on the way home.
wenta had fun.
on my birthday.
one of the best im mah lyf.
i really miss da time.
i would sit beside you in da train.
talking about all my problems.
to you.
i would opened up everything to you.
i was still a kid back then.
two years later.
i found out.
i still need you.
i still need your encouragement.
i still need your presence in mah lyf.
i still hope..every night..
you would still send me..
good morning messages..
the next morning.
but it never happened..
*sobz*
i also hoped..
things would be just da way it was before..
but..i know..realistically it will never happen.
sigh..
Posted at 10:57 pm by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
Hmprf~
He called me from overseas.
AND knowing that I'm using prepaid.
Smart ass.
Heex.
Muax!
Wellz. Juz love him coz I know he cares.
*winkz*
*sigh*
He'll only be home later.
He's gonna eat first then head to home.
Wee~
Miss u.miss u.miss u.miss u.miss u.miss u!!
MuaxxxX!
*[u'Re MiNe!]
Posted at 09:50 pm by mewicked
Permalink
sigh..
ahm not skooling today..
going fer appt later at 2..
yeps..
sigh..
it felt as tho i got cheated man..
i really do.
i was a fool..
i really am..
im so stupid..
i helped him to meet her..
fuck myself.
Posted at 10:02 am by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
k go!
Posted at 12:59 am by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
sigh.
people...
i just realised one thing..
its a dejavu..
when i was with ila..
it was da same thing happening eyy..
sigh..
i dun think i am fated to be in a serious relationship uhh..
everytime i get serious..
stupid fucking things wil happen..
it freakingly sucks okie..
damn!
when i was a full time playa..
<lyn referred me as that>
tis never happens..
urgh freak..
first..
it was..
asmar..
things just didnt went well that time..
urgh...
den..
yani..
sigh..
damn i love her too man..
but..these stooopid things happen larhh...
den..
it was.
safz..
damn we were in love..
but..again..
urghh..
den..
nurul..
that wasnt my fault okiee...
she played behind me..
bah~!
erm..
jaja..
was crazy..
but..i guess i wasnt good enuff..
and..time wasnt right..
nabilah..
i was serious okayy..
damn it..
it's all the same..
everything that happen is da same..
in one way or another..
and now..
i twat i could handle it well..
damn i was wrong..
i was damn wrong..
i never really put a foot in da relationship..
i never made it stable..
and i thought i did..
i thought i was doing okay..
fuck..
shit happens..
i noe..
but..
must it always happens when im in a serious relationship..??!!
fuck mann..
when i was out flinging..
shit never happens mann..
damn.
Posted at 05:50 pm by duXwIcKeD
Permalink
